Over My Head
by Xpecto Patronum
Summary: It had taken Draco several years to gather enough courage to finally confront Hermione, but is her wedding day really an appropriate time for such confrontation? Oneshot inspired by the song "Say Something". *I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER*


A/N: Hello, I was listening to the well known song "Say Something":  watch?v=-2U0Ivkn2Ds and then I decided to write a little oneshot inspired by it.

This happens before the epilogue, during Ron and Hermione's wedding.

* * *

Draco walked in slow, uncertain steps. Coming here was a mistake, he scolded himself angrily. He could turn around now and leave and nobody would notice; he hadn't met anybody he knew yet. But he had come all this way to see her and it didn't make any sense to leave now. But when had anything concerning her ever made sense? He smiled ruefully.

He spotted Harry and Ginny coming his way, they exchanged formal greetings and Draco could see Ginny wasn't comfortable in his company.  
"_I'm going to check on Hermione._" she excused herself, and Draco's pulse faltered at the mention of her name. Swallowing hard, he turned his attention back to Harry who was saying something he couldn't hear.

"_What?_" Draco asked. "_I said, I have a question._" Harry repeated and he took Draco's nod as a sign to continue.  
"_I know it had been years, but I can't help ask, why did you walk over to Voldemort that day at Hogwarts?_" Harry asked.  
"_It wasn't Voldemort I was walking over to, I walked over to my family._" Draco corrected "_You, out of all people should know how far some people would go to protect their families._" Draco added, his mouth twisting in a bitter smile.

Harry looked away distractedly before looking back at Draco, "_I'll go find Ginny._" he said before turning to walk away. After a few steps, Harry paused, "_And Malfoy, seeing you again wasn't half as bad as I expected it to be._" he said over his shoulder.  
"_Lucky you, Potter; seeing you again was exactly as bad as I thought it would be._" Draco smirked at him.

Harry's question sent Draco's thoughts far away. He stood there, thinking of all the choices that had been made for him, and the ones that he had made for himself. He remembered the first real choice he had ever made, that night at the Astronomy tower when he lowered his wand. It almost cost him his and his family's lives, that night Dumbledore died, taking with him any hope Draco had at redemption.  
But he was foolish enough to repeat it again, when his aunt kept urging him to identify Potter. He knew he was making a huge mistake when he gave her that vague answer. It had earned them Voldemort's wrath and they had been confined to their own house.

Draco was so lost in his thoughts but then something seemed to catch everybody's attention and he looked up to see what everybody had been looking at. And that was when he saw her, Hermione was standing there clad in white, his hair cascading down her back, her lips were smiling but Draco could see the smile hadn't reached her eyes and he had no idea why.

* * *

Anxiety was consuming Hermione, she had even heard Ginny talk to Fleur about her earlier, saying that she was being very edgy, to which Fleur replied saying that brides usually are. But Hermione could tell that brides were never nervous for the same reasons as her, not most of them at least.

She had known Ron since they were children and never had she seen anybody with such a huge capacity to love, it overwhelmed her. But after that battle at Hogwarts, they've all grown up notably and when she started dating Ron it was a perfect time of her life.  
The war had been over, the immense danger that had been threatening the Wizarding world had been eradicated. She had brought her parents back from Australia, repairing their memories wasn't an easy task but with the help of the ministry, she was able to do it. They were fuming when she told them what she had done, but they eventually understood. And on top of it all, she and Ron were finally together.

But it didn't last as long as Hermione thought it would. Their teenage years were over now, at the age of 22, she was seeing things in a different light. The spark that was once there, the joy of getting something you have longed for, it all faded. They got replaced with new feelings, mature ones that looked past appearance, the chase didn't matter anymore, what mattered was the person you end up with after that chase.

She loved Ron, but did she have enough love for him to last for the rest of their lives? What a horrible question for a bride to be asking! Hermione grimaced inwardly. She had looked at the couples around her and she envied them their certainty, she wanted the same. She wanted to feel the way Ginny felt every time Harry walked into the room. She wanted to giggle and blush at every compliment from Ron like Fleur did with Bill. But above all, she wanted to have the sort of love that made Tonks overlook every possible flaw in Lupin and love him anyway.

It was too late for second thoughts, how could she do that to Ron? Would she even find anybody who would love her as much as he did? Doubtful. And what about his family? They were like her own family, could she stand losing them? Could she look at Mrs. Weasly's eyes and see that loving look replaced with a hurt one...or even worse, an accusing one. NO! She couldn't. She was just having normal bridal nervousness, she assured herself.

"_Congratulations, Granger._" a familiar voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she looked up at the source of the voice. Her eyes widening as she saw Malfoy standing in front of her, what was he doing here!  
"_Apparently, it's frowned upon to say "bad move" to a bride on her wedding day, so I'll go with congratulations._" he smirked at her.  
"_Apparently it's frowned upon for a bride to punch one of her guests, I guess that makes you lucky._" she retorted, lifting her chin up defiantly.  
There was only one lucky person in this place that day and Draco knew it wasn't him.

"_I didn't come here today to fight with you._" he said honestly. "_Then why did you come?_" She asked, narrowing her eyes at him.  
"_I came to say I'm sorry._" he said quietly after a long pause. Hermione's eyes widened at what she heard, was this really Malfoy or was she hallucinating.  
"_What exactly are you apologizing for?_" he asked  
"_Everything. I know I have a long list of things to apologize for where you're concerned, but I really am sorry for everything._" he sounded more sincere than he had ever sounded, Hermione thought.

"_For humiliating me at every possible chance you've found?_"  
"_I'm sorry._"  
"_For regarding me as someone inferior to you?_"  
"_I never did._"  
"_I can remember the very few times where you called me anything other than Mudblood._" she scowled at him.  
"_I am **very** sorry for that._"  
"_For fighting alongside the man who was trying to kill me, among others?_"  
"_I have never raised my wand at you._"  
Hermione paused, looking at him with a frown; he was right. But what difference did it make?

"_Is there anything else you want to apologize for?_" she asked indignantly  
"_Yes...that day at the Manor, when Bellatrix caught you. I've never been sorry about anything like I'm sorry about that._" Draco admitted, travelling back to the memory of that day. Her screams had echoed in the Manor and he was so tempted to go down there, to do anything and he almost did but his mother stood in his way at the last minute. She had begged him with tears in her eyes not to leave his room, to stay out of it, and he obliged. Once again, by putting his family first he had let them stand in the way between him and her.

"_There was nothing you could do, but I know you recognized Harry that day yet you refused to say it, that's something._" she said after she flinched for a moment at the memory of what Bellatrix had done to her, she still had the traces of the scar.  
"_But if you're so sorry, why did you do it in the first place? You seemed to really enjoy insulting me._" Hermione asked with a sigh and he fell silent. S_peak up Malfoy you didn't come and tell me all that to remain silent afterwards!_ Hermione thought, she felt the fury inside her increase.

"_I didn't enjoy it, but I had to. You can call it a...defense mechanism, at least it's the only one I know._" he admitted after a long pause.  
"_A defense mechanism? Against me? Why would you need to defend yourself against me?_" she asked disbelievingly.  
"_Not you._" he corrected. "_Then what?_" she asked impatiently.  
"_How you made me feel; the fact that you made me feel in the first place. I didn't like it, or I liked it too much. I don't know, it was over my head._" he said in frustration.

Hermione's heart skipped a beat at what she heard, was she understanding this correctly? She closed her eyes and looked down in an attempt to clear her mind from all the thoughts that had been crowding it. The last thing she needed today was something like that.

_Say something_, Draco urged her silently. When she finally looked up at him, here eyes were wide and darker than they usually were. "_If you don't be very clear, I might misunderstand what you're saying._" she said weakly in a shaky voice.

"_I'm saying..._" Draco started to speak but he suddenly stopped, looking over her shoulder. Hermione looked back to see where he was looking and she saw Ron heading towards them, his expression grim. "_Malfoy._" Ron nodded at him in formal acknowledgment and Draco nodded back.

"_Goodbye._" he said, his gaze lingering on Hermione before turning on his heel to leave without a backward glance.

Hermione wanted to pull him back, make him explain further. Why was he saying that? Why now? Was he even honest about it? But why would he come all this way after years of not seeing each other just to lie to her? What was in it for him? Draco Malfoy had the peculiar skill of agonizing her no matter what his intentions were, Hermione brooded. But he had left and going after him was pointless...she had a wedding to tend to.

* * *

Ron stood in confusion, his mind reeling with thoughts. He didn't know what was happening, but the unexplained apology Hermione just whispered in his ear had a sense of foreboding.


End file.
